Going through a divorce is rough on everyone that is involved in it, and the truth is that there is little that you can do to get through it unscathed, the same goes for everyone. Regardless of how amicable or disagreeable the divorce is, the separation of a partnership like this takes its toll on everyone, particularly if there are young children involved. As a parent, you must put your own emotions to one side when dealing with your children, and invest time in them so that they come through the divorce without too many battle scars.

We spoke to leading Los Angeles Dirvorce Attorney Evan Braustein, to find out some tips on helping your kids through this difficult time.

After School Chats

One of the best ways to help kids get through this tough time is to create an environment where they feel safe enough to talk about everything and anything. In order to gain you child’s trust with this, you must also be open and honest. Try to sit down for a chat each day after school, perhaps just 10 minutes at a time, to talk about what is going on. Very often kids will blame themselves for marriages breaking up, and you need to be on hand to reassure them that it is not the case.

Normality

Whilst you may be going through something which is far from normal, it is important that you try your best to give as much normality to your child’s lives as possible. This means carrying on with the school run, allowing them to go to clubs and friend’s houses, and most importantly, allowing them to stay in the family home.

Discussions

Any discussions which take place between you and your soon-to-be ex partner must be done in privacy, and far away from the children. The problem that can occur when kids are within an earshot, is that they may hear tidbits of information and then create something completely out of context as a result. The last thing your children need right now is to be confused or to go away with falsehoods in their minds, because of this, make sure that grown up talk is done where there are only grown ups.

Split Time

Unless you are worried about the potential actions of your ex partner, there is no reason why your kids shouldn’t have as much time with them as they do with you. The courts will of course arrange custody when the time comes, but up until then you must give access to your ex. You need to remember that whatever your feelings are about your ex partner, they are still the parent to your children, and the kids should certainly not be punished because you can’t see eye to eye anymore. The kids should never be used as pawns in this situation, so come to an amicable agreement until the judge orders differently.

The majority of your attention during this process should always be towards your children.